Addiction Issues

[bladesmith]

I think I am an alcoholic/addict (legally prescribed). I can go a few days without drinking, but the nagging lure comes back. I drink half a fifth at a time. Really bad times, I'll drink a whole fifth. I try to hide it how much I drink from everyone. They tend to believe I have issues with my blood sugar or it is related to hormone fluctuation due to the wrecked pituitary. I have black outs at times, but I work hard to prevent them. Lets think this over.

Pro:
I tend to get more rest
I am a happier person
I am more active
I can control my periods of impairment better with alcohol than with valuim and percocets.

Cons:
I'm destroying my liver
Cost of alcohol
Taste of alcohol - I hate the stuff
Blackouts
Worries of suppressed central nervous system

Really at a quandary with this. Of course if I don't drink or numb myself, the nightmares take over and I'm afraid what might happen. Sometimes it is easier to open up to strangers on the internet than loved ones in person

[bladesmith]

Sometimes this is too real. Watch the statistics at the end. 22 troops a day commit suicide. Don't worry about me, I'm safe and have family with me tonight.

[Mayaca]

I have a line-of-duty injury with permanent damage. They give me hydrocodone and muscle relaxers whenever I ask (and often when I don't )

The doctor gave me some the first visit and then all the follow-ups I would turn it down. He finally asked and I said "I still have the first bottle of pills.". I then told him I am too worried about becoming an addict, so I don't take them even when I am in pain. Now he gives me some anytime I ask because he knows I am fearful of it. I do take them now that the pain is worse. But I still wait till it is just intolerable....

I don't know brother, other than getting a therapist. You need someone to open up to other than us misfits. We care about you, but we don't know how to help. Get a head doctor. He might know a different medicine or do some therapy or something. Be okay, Addie needs you.

[dudeman]

I found out after my first back surgery that I don't tolerate opioids. Got the cold sweats, clammy, and was puking so bad I thought I popped my stitches. Its just weed for me, and alcohol. Sarge, you ever consider weed?

[Woods Devil]

I feel like I should share some vague inspirational quote right now but I don't have any. Everybody deals with pain different and everybody tolerates pain meds differently so I don't know what to tell anyone. I was given morphine as a teen and didn't like the sensation so I avoid those types of drugs.

A decade plus ago when I discussed my recently diagnosed condition that had caused all of my other problems all my life the doctor offered pain meds and muscle relaxers but I declined. I sit on the edge of my bed and stretch before I can stand but it gives me time to pray and to think of what I am going to do today. I'm not always a pleasant person when I hurt more than normal but most of the time I am able to deal with my pain and just laugh.

I do wish you the best and will try to remember you in my prayers.

[Night]

Alcohol or pills both affect the liver.

are you wanting to turn your mind off or does the alcohol help with the pain? I completely understand wanting to turn the brain off

I wish I could help ya but all I can do is be the anonymous person on the internet that will listen

[HeavyHauler]

I think I am an alcoholic/addict (legally prescribed). I can go a few days without drinking, but the nagging lure comes back. I drink half a fifth at a time. Really bad times, I'll drink a whole fifth. I try to hide it how much I drink from everyone. They tend to believe I have issues with my blood sugar or it is related to hormone fluctuation due to the wrecked pituitary. I have black outs at times, but I work hard to prevent them. Lets think this over.

Pro:
I tend to get more rest
I am a happier person
I am more active
I can control my periods of impairment better with alcohol than with valuim and percocets.

Cons:
I'm destroying my liver
Cost of alcohol
Taste of alcohol - I hate the stuff
Blackouts
Worries of suppressed central nervous system

Really at a quandary with this. Of course if I don't drink or numb myself, the nightmares take over and I'm afraid what might happen. Sometimes it is easier to open up to strangers on the internet than loved ones in person

Hey Sarge, I'm an addict; I used to be a cocaine/heroin junkie and a pill popper. I used to dull the pain. Fentanyl killed me once and luckily, I was brought back to the land of the living.

It's hard to go through, not only for you; but for family and friends.

I quit the day my son was born, that day. I used just a few scant hours before he was born. When he came out and I held him; I knew what I had to do. I made him a promise and one I have kept for 2 and a half years. I quit. My son saved my life and now him and my daughter save my life every day.

I often think of using again, especially when my veins are bulging and ripe to be stuck. But then I imagine losing my children and that pushes the thought away.

I live my life, for my children. I used to dull the pain of losing my brother, used to feel something. I used to use.

But now I live.

I remember how liberating it felt, telling everyone I was an addict; that I have kicked using and I remember when I told everyone on the Mogli thread. Others came out too, either by messaging me or posting in the thread. Some say it was me that gave them courage to do so, but it wasn't. It was them, they were tired of keeping it a secret; even if it was only a secret to us on the boards.

I know we don't know each other, but I'm here for you. I'm here to listen to you, talk to you and do what I can for you.

My inbox is always open to you.

I have a line-of-duty injury with permanent damage. They give me hydrocodone and muscle relaxers whenever I ask (and often when I don't )

The doctor gave me some the first visit and then all the follow-ups I would turn it down. He finally asked and I said "I still have the first bottle of pills.". I then told him I am too worried about becoming an addict, so I don't take them even when I am in pain. Now he gives me some anytime I ask because he knows I am fearful of it. I do take them now that the pain is worse. But I still wait till it is just intolerable....

I don't know brother, other than getting a therapist. You need someone to open up to other than us misfits. We care about you, but we don't know how to help. Get a head doctor. He might know a different medicine or do some therapy or something. Be okay, Addie needs you.

Keep them, build a stockpile. You may need them, if the shit hits the fan. I keep all my meds stocked up, for just in case.

If it's opiates you're addicted to, Sarge; look into Kratom. Seriously. It helps me, doesn't get you high and has all sorts of other benefits. If you want to know more about kratom, feel free to message me. That goes for anyone.

[rokitman]

I have a long history of drug use (MJ, coke, meth, etc) but thankfully my work was my priority so I didn't become an addict. Even today with my consumption of a sixer a day I not an alcoholic ( I just like beer) according to an AA therapist visiting my mother who was on the edge of alcoholism.
Anyway I have not suffered the trauma of war like some of you nor have I suffered a nasty divorce or had major financial problems, so haven't had the catalyst to resort to drugs or alcohol to kill the physical or emotional pain some of you have to deal with.
I have an open ended prescriptions for hydrocodone and naproxen for my bad knee and arthritis in my neck but rarely use either. Like Mayaca I fear addiction to pain killers and already know naproxen will kill your kidneys so I rarely take either. Only when the pain is intolerable will I use them. That only happens every couple of months so I have full bottles of both........just in case.
Now, when I had knee surgery I was prescribed codeine and woohoo.....that stuff was good! Made me happy happy happy........I could easily become addicted to that stuff but alas the doc said no to a refill...........sigh

Hang in there sarge. You know where to come for a shoulder to lean on. We will refrain from telling you to man the fuck up and quit whining...............for now!

[gamgee]

Quit the drink and the drugs and talk to someone about the nightmares. You're not the only one going through what you're going through.

[swampbilly]

gamgee

never mind

[Steve28]

I'm addicted to life. . . .

That's one habit you should break. Your neighbors will thank you.

[Night]

That's one habit you should break. Your neighbors will thank you.

Cheap shot Steve. That was too easy

[piranha2]

Cheap shot Steve. That was too easy

But, one that needed to be taken.

[Absolutely!]

Having lived with an alcoholic, I have to say that there are some thoughts that just don't fit the facts.

What is real and what we believe from our distorted perception can be two different things.

eg: 'it makes me happy'. No. It makes you energetic. it brings you back to normal functioning: the functioning you would get if you were not an addict suffering from withdrawals constantly.

I tend to get more rest - I question that. do you wake at 4am? do you get nightmares? do you have really down moments?


I am a happier person - No. it probably gives you more 'personality' and half the time that personality will make people laugh, and half the time that personality willd rive them insane with frustration - but you won't know which is which time.

I am more active - yes. Alcohol is an incomplete sugar, and your body has no choice but to use it.

I can control my periods of impairment better with alcohol than with valuim and percocets. Well that's probably true.

Cons:
I'm destroying my liver
Cost of alcohol
Taste of alcohol - I hate the stuff
Blackouts
Worries of suppressed central nervous system

You have to distinguish between 'having alcohol' and 'removing withdrawals from alcohol.' Because if you are no longer addicted to alcohol, you don't ever have to replenish from a withdrawal. You don't ever have to top up after going hungry, as it were. You don't have that feast and famine. You feel normal every day.

Only those who are alcoholics need alcohol to function.

But quitting involves finding a new normal. And that's very hard work. Very hard work. and it will take upwards of a year. Just finding a new emotional normal.

Go read the allan carr book on quitting drinking. Have a drink while you read it. No stress, no pressure. No promises to quit. Just read it and see what you think of what he says.

[HeavyHauler]

Cheap shot Steve. That was too easy

Some times yah just gotta take the shot, even if it's too easy.